Saturday, May 9, 2009

Getting screwed

**pulls out a fresh tissue**

I bought a couple of golden apple snails for the fish tank last weekend. I just wanted something a little more interesting than a guppy to look at, you know? But they are cool and sprint around the tank on their feet, doing all sorts of strange things. We've had the little brown snails in there for ages but they are really boring despite their prolific breeding.

I'd never really thought about sexy snails and what they do to get their funk on, but sort of thought baby golden snails would be nice. A bit of Googling suggested, not being hermaphrodites they needed a Mummy and a Daddy snail to perform snail intercourse to fertilise a bunch of eggs to be laid on the glass above the water line. I knew about the eggs - the Mystery snails used to leave them all over Mum's big tropical stock plant tanks back in my fish farm-teenagehood, dotting the concrete like crispy, pink berry fruits. But I was ignorant of their reproductive necessities.

Our snails have filled in every possible visual blank imaginable - Snail Sex 101



They fuck for over an hour a day. Every day.

Who would have thought snails had it so good, eh?

10 comments:

Flattie said...

*best innocent look* Doesn't EVERYBODY ? And you not only watch em, but photograph them ? "Yeah baby, go, but move that antenna to the left a bit so we can see better.."

Tish said...

And take video of them...

cwnda said...

"Oooh, yeah! You're SO hard. Oooh baby!" .... (significant pause) .... "Um, that's my shell." -Ô¿Ô- 

Tish said...

C'mon over, they are at it again...

Flattie said...

Has it NEVER occurred to you that he might just be a SNAS (Sensitive New Age Snail) & he might just be HOLDING her ?

Tish said...

The chasing, the grabbing, the rough and tumble throwing her around, the clasping... he might be holding something but it's not chocolates and flowers. It's snail rape, I tells ya!

Flattie said...

What a sad pathetic bunch we are to be so engaged by an example of molluscular reproduction. Imagine what its gonna be like in there when all the eggs hatch... Boccacio's Decameron will seem like a childrens bed time story...

Tish said...

Hmmpf, it's ok for you, you know what Boccacio's Decameron is...

Flattie said...

YEAH BABY

Tish said...

You spelt it wrong. *snort*