Monday, April 27, 2009


**pulls out a fresh tissue**

I was sitting out in the Bahama Hut a few minutes ago thinking how pleasant it was out there at 11pm with the night sounds being blown around by the wind and the gentle cracking of the possum crashing around in the bamboo and I got to thinking, as you do, what the Hell is so fascinating about a clump of bamboo when it has no fruit on it? Why live in a barren waste just to trot across to the neighbours to nosh on their avocados? Why not live in the avocado tree at the neighbours? Cos, like, I was stuck in that bamboo for fully 5 minutes the other day and I can quite confidently say, I didn't see anything exciting about it at all.

Of course, this not seeing might be because my eyes are a bit naff, that ridge of high pressure invading my eyeballs that I was yapping about a few weeks back but it's more likely that the possum is just a dork...

Dork - slang for penis, amongst other things. Sometimes an affectionate nickname, sometimes spat out in frustration. But I bet this takes the cake for Dorkdom. It came to me in my mail (thanks, Shane) and just goes to show how big a dork someone can really be.

Dear Diary

Tomorrow I am going to see the eye specialist about the pressure in my eye balls that is much too high to be normal but has existed too long without making me go blind to be glaucoma.

It was noted in the eye man's report in 2001 when MS first came to live with me on a permanent basis.

I want my MRI, dammit.



Flattie said...

So you've never had bamboo shoots in any of your takeaways from The Golden Cat then huh?

cwnda said...

I have just sold my swimming togs, my snorkel, my boat & my fishing rod & have sworn off fish & chips for life ..... I can only give thanks that whales are an endangered species. -Ô¿Ô- 

Morticia said...

Wise move, my friend. And spare a thought for Mrs Whale, taking one for the team. Is it true that underwater, no-one can see you cry??

As for bamboo shoots, they are not what I envisaged when I was stuck in there...