Sunday, November 30, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue**

Ads and I were sitting in the garden this afternoon, making the most of the lovely weather and discussing what we might do on Christmas Day and we thought we might have a bbq in the evening for a change now that the place is all ship shape and the bbq cleaned up and ready for action.

So we started naming people we might like to invite to this exclusive little grill-fest and after a while, Ads says "Invite anyone you want".

And then we sat some more and enjoyed the afternoon together. It was nice. Next weekend, the Big Teens are having a party/bbq to celebrate their 18th birthdays. Hands up who wants to bounce for a group of rowdy teens from a Church Youth group?

Looks like I'm it then, eh. I suppose I won't even be allowed to say "fuck" out loud.


Friday, November 28, 2008

Funny shit

**pulls out a fresh tissue, wipes eyes**

I stumbled on a site of quotes from IRC

cat is a catnip junkie
she loves rubbing her face in it
i thought it was weird
until I imagined what I would do with pot if I didnt have thumbs or fire

This is an oldie but a goodie...

(+ware) I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and
(+ware) slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get sooo
(+ware) stressed and life seems to get funny?
(+ware) Well, I could NOT believe it . . he was a DWARF! He storms over to my car,
(+ware) looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"
(+ware) So, I look down at him and say, "Well, which one are you then?"... and
(+ware) THAT'S when the fight started . .

This cracked me up big time

**You know you're in a Racist channel when you see this**
(19:22:54) I like my coffee the way I like my niggers.
(19:22:59) Dead?
(19:23:01) In the Field?
(19:23:02) In jail?
(19:23:06) Killing each other?
(19:23:08) Stealing?
(19:23:09) Covered in blood?
(19:23:11) 5$ a piece?
(19:23:13) Stupid?
(19:23:20) ...

This one is just for Flattie

December is just around the corner, and you know what that means.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Reaping the rewards

**screws up a fresh tissue**

45 isn't old, is it?

Nor is being able to remember most of these adverts?


A farmer called Murray is bringing his cows in, and one of the cows says "morning Murray"
and he replies "morning girls".


There's my Mum - the one with the baggy pantyhose


'I once bought an icecream for a girl named Fay,

Till Roger the bully stole them both away

But now that I'm grown-up look what I've got

- it's a trumpet Fay and it's made by Tip Top (made by Tip Top)

It's the finest ice cream that money can buy.

It's got chocolate and nuts, six flavours to try.

It's the treat for the big boys I told her, and then, and then...

Oh lordy, it's Roger again!

One day, Roger Fitch, one day...!

ho hum it's been raining and my gardens are lapping it up. I wandered around and ate peas and strawberries today. The corn is doing well, cabbages, shallots, beans, peas, tomatoes, spring onions and potatoes are growing heaps, peanuts and chives are sluggish and so are the caulis and water melon but the pumpkin and the mint are making up for it. We've been eating the rhubarb and will be supping on strawberries soon; the plum crop has mostly survived the winds and the grape vine is bursting out with baby bunches all over. Flowers are in bloom everywhere and it's a place of peace and green. I should feel rested, yet instead, I feel restless (and it ain't just my legs) like there is something coming. I don't think my incipient birthday has anything to do with it - I think it's more the approaching summer and those long, lazy days (how will I tell the difference? Oh yeah, it will be 28° outside and I'll be making love to my aircon unit) with a little time for me and fuck everyone else. I'm overdue some of that. I even have the T-Shirt for it

and those heavenly long balmy evenings pottering around at the end of the day, beer in one hand, ciggie in the other, good company, good music...

A time of reaping? You bet; this past year has been pretty hard going in so many, many ways...

oh well, *drains ciggie and stubs out beer* bedtime.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Bread and Pams

**shreds a fresh tissue**

I was out in the arbor at 4 this morning (after previously being up at 3), watching the light pollution bounce off the heavily overcast sky and light everything up with a dark orange glow, almost like an aurora.

And we don't even live near the South Pole... or Invercargill... and I was looking due North...

Thomas sat on my lap and we chatted about this and that, the lack of food awaiting him in the kitchen, the wet grass between the arbor and the kitchen and the potential need for feline transportation until exhaustion hit and I thought I could go back to bed and sleep through the nest of snakes writhing inside my left leg. Eventually.

I slept a lot of the day and tonight, I am having the PAMs thanks. I guess that's the first real sign that the steroids didn't quite do as much as intended.

I do have this to show for them, though,

the beginning of my outdoors indoors (or is that indoors outdoors), the living room that stays tidy even when the kids have trashed the one inside. Yes, even if a blanket, a coffee and wheatie are needed to keep out the cold.

And some screens. And lights. And weatherproof side covers. And stuff.

Cool, eh.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Doggone pleasure

**pulls out fresh tissues, hands 'em to this guy**

Man caught with penis in pasta jar

A man caught near New South Wales's Nobbys Beach with his penis in a pasta sauce jar led police on a 20kmh car chase, has had his day in court.

Newcastle police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed.

Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.

Weatherley attracted attention parked in a no-stopping zone before noon on October 26.

Police believed Weatherley was doing something with his hands in his lap and thought that he might have a weapon.

Weatherley saw the police and drove away, despite them flashing their lights.

The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 kmh, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.

Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.

They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

Weatherley pleaded guilty to offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction.

Magistrate Elaine Truscott asked Weatherley, who represented himself, why he behaved the way he did.

He said he resisted police because he was trying to make himself "decent".

He was fined $600 for offensive behaviour and convicted of the other two offences without further action.

Does the presence of the dog bring a whole new meaning to "jacking off"?

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue**

The Bible has a couple of holes in it - the Interweb told me so. You can do what I did and visit Heaving Dead Cats to read them for yourself. I haven't got very far yet, I'm still laughing over the irony of #1 - "Man was created equal, male and female. Gen.1:27.
Woman was created as a companion to the man only after he rejected the animals. Gen.2:18-24."

I can't believe Adam knew what the fuck he was doing gave informed consent when he turned down a guaranteed sheep for the potential to be eaten alive by a lioness.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Drawn out

**rummages for a fresh box**

Here you go guys, play with this for a while. It's fun. I'm going to bed, I'm sick.

Oh, if you get peckish, pop in here for some cake.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Showers forecast

**pulls out a fresh tissue**

Finally, today we got some rain for the garden. Not that I saw a lot of it, I had a sleepy day and snoozed through large chunks of it which gave me time to write a mental list of the goods and the not so goods two weeks post steroid.

Shame I've forgotten where I put it, eh...

Anyway, when I was in the shower a short time ago, I noticed something else to add to the lost list of liabilities and liberations; dancing in the shower. Shower dancing is an unnatural phenomenon created by the contact between water of a constant temperature and skin which is unable to accurately relay the temperature of the flow to the brain, hence some places feeling hot, some feeling cold and some not feeling anything at all in between. I tell ya, avoiding the extremes can keep one rocking and rolling, even better than Ray Woolf and his La-Z-Boy chair.

Anyway, tis late so I'm off to curl up with my sweetie wheatie and a book. There is nothing like a good book.

Words do indeed create Worlds.

Friday, November 14, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue**

What a beautiful late spring day today was. The breeze blew breezily, the sun shone sunnily, the grass was green and the sky was blue and the fluffy clouds were white. The garden was perfect, the coffee wasn't too nasty, the stereo pumped out the sound (in stereo), the dog snored, the big teens sat on the lawn and chatted, the little teen played with the drill press he dug out of the gear out the back, Sequel reclined on the swing seat and read a book with her MP3 player going and I sat in Little Arbor, took pics wiv my new cellphone and absorbed a little more Power of Now as previously mentioned (interesting bit about Zen, still no motorbike).

No hassles, no tasks to perform, no stress, no fuss. No wuckin furries.

Absolute bliss.

I don't know whose fucking house I was at but it sure as Hell didn't seem like mine!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Thursday night veg

**puts out another snotty soggy tissue**

I stumbled on this tonight. Look carefully; there's a quiz right after.

Now see if you can answer this correctly

What does/should that building remind you of?

A. a bullet
B. a a penis
C. a vibrator
D. a gherkin
E. a space craft

If you answered A, you would be thinking the same as me.
If you answered B, you have been celibate too long.
If you answered C, you need to add batteries to your shopping list
If you answered D, you have been vegetarian too long
If you answered E, you are too optimistic.

If you answered D, you are also correct.

There is more strange shit here. And here.

I feel so... inspired!

(but I never saw a gherkin like that, they must grow some weird shit in Pomgolia.)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

In synch

**groans loudly and pulls out a fresh tissue**

It's one of those days, one where something common and everyday takes me out back and beats the snot out of me with little warning, when a simple cold jumps in and takes advantage of a body recently immuno-suppressed (again) and yells "take that, bitch" loudly in my ear. Now it's in my lungs and ears, my back hurts when I breathe and I've rummaged the cupboard and found the last back-up antibiotic script and started on them and some painkillers. Thank God for a doc prepared to dispense ahead of time. Tomorrow will be a better day.

I'm off to bed and wallow in the warmth of wheatsacks and pills. Bliss...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue, coughs, sneezes**

First were the big kids, then Ads. Now I've got a bloody cold, too on top of increasing MS-y bits. Isn't timing everything? It waits until exams, new meds and depleted and shonky immune systems are low to come visit our house.  And I had to spend all today day running around for Ads blood tests, 2 hospital outpatients appointments, shopping, pick up kid in sick bay...

I need a holiday. At home. With no car and no need for one.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Agave Maria

**pulls out a fresh tissue, dabs a bit of blood**

I was pottering around in Little Arbor tying up the grape vine this afternoon, when I had a sudden urge to plant poppies, all colours. Lots and lots of poppies. And agaves; those huge, sharp ones that everyone with a functioning braincell gives a wide berth to.

(nicked from google)

Along the bottom of the bank, yeah? and maybe a couple of strategically placed ones down behind the bamboo. To keep the undesirables out. Then there's finding somewhere for all the rose cuttings that appear to have struck and building the new arbor extension, the mini-tank stand and moving the big clump of Watsonias. There's another white grape baby coming, too, cos I swapped 2 small pieces of sheet stainless for it with Muzz yesterday.

Anyway, all that thinking was rather tiring so I went and sat in the big swing seat we finally got around to hanging at the far end of Big Arbor (another bit of shit cleaned up). The one I have tuned to the perfect height to be able to sit in and rock without quite touching the ground unless I want to. Adam says it's too high off the ground - I said it's lucky not everything's about him, then. And so I sat and I rocked... and rocked... and thought about my numb hand and foot and how much worse the burning is lately.

Damn it's nice out there with the bamboo crashing high above one in the wind.

PS can some one find my motivation, please? I think I've left it somewhere... maybe over by the bamboo?

Phrase of the Day: "Oh no, that can't be good".

Thursday, November 6, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue, balls it up and chucks it**

I spent some considerable time today cleaning up Deb's web site after someone cracked the site and added hidden content designed to be picked up by Google to the bottom of the code of every html page. The referring link from the Google search that made the hit showed that there is an Auckland site been done over as well.

Five minutes, just 5 is all I want alone with the motherless little bastard who thinks this shit is funny. When I'm finished with the baseborn one, I'll turn him over to Nush.

She likes a bit of tenderised and sun-ripened flesh to chew on.

PS - that's the dregs of her second trotter from the Pork Post the other week that she's chewing there. It smells fucking awful divine.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue and sniffs**

I don't do politics, as you know, but if I did, I might feel that a good decision was made at the polls in the US today. There is something about Barack Obama, and about his Speech.

And I don't even really like Americans...

Big Ups, Barack Obama. Big Ups.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


**pulls out a fresh tissue**

Today wasn't a very good day - I'm still very sore. And numb.

Ok, that's all.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Hate dat

**pulls out 3 fresh tissues**

I got a real hate on for the world today. Damn straight I do.

I finished the medrol yesterday morning. I had the breathing problems and palpitations but they weren't too bad. I got a bit of sleep last night and I woke up this morning feeling as if I was drowning. So I got up.

As you do.

But I couldn't open my eyes properly and I was a bit confused and unsteady and unable to get a deep breath so opted for a day of doing sweet fuck all. Which is exactly what I did - I slept most of it. My head and neck, face, throat, shoulders and back feel bruised like I have taken a beating; I'm glum and sad, uncoordinated and twitchy and nearly cut my finger off cooking dinner but worst of all, the spasms are back in my legs and the pins and needles are in my arms and hands. Already. Some days there is no point in wondering "Why"; getting from one end to the other takes more strength than I have.

I won't write off the Medrol yet, though, not until I've had time to get down off it and settle into routine again. Maybe things will calm down a bit. You just never know ya luck...

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Oh lookee

**pulls out another fresh tissue**

It's 4.38am and here we are. Well here I am, anyway *waves at all the sleeping buggers*

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Nearly done

**pulls out a fresh tissue**

One more dose, just 5 more bitter tasting tablets and the steroids will be done. I am kind of looking forward to it, especially the possibility of a decent run of sleep cos last night's allocation from 1.30 to 4.45 was not long enough by half. The past few days, I have been suffering with some racing pulse and breathlessness but hadn't read the right fact sheet online, nor been warned that it was something that should be reported to a doc, so I didn't bother. After overdoing things today (taxi service to the Mount; 2 x driving lessons for 17 year olds; cleaning up around the garden; planting a camellia; pulling weeds and dumping stuff; cleaning up after dinner, a snooze was a nice change and I'm looking forward to repeating it in a few minutes. I might even go so far as to take it easy tomorrow, too.

But despite being wired and fried, breathless and pulsating and wide awake when everyone else is asleep (except Sequel, cos she works nights) it appears at this point that it has taken 7 years to find an potential tool in the MS arsenal that isn't worse than the disease it's treating - at least in the short term.

And a very timely tool it was, too, but Medrol at 1000mg/day is not something to want to have to need on a frequent basis so I think I might aim for a quiet summer enjoying the garden instead of building it.

That would make a nice change, hmmm?