Resolve

**pulls out a fresh tissue**

Bearing in mind I don't do NY resolutions, today has brought forth a need to sort my shit out.

I can't solve the two biggest issues in my life, but I can do something to sort out the two most bloody annoying - the Offspring.

I can't deny it, even to myself, that I am getting worse. I'm over heating; I have the fatigue knocking on the door; my concentration isn't very good and my hands are numb more often that not. Both are treating my efforts to work through these problems as nothing and becoming demanding of my resources - Ads is once more attempting to assert a dominant male role and H is treating the house like a hotel which functions based on her frequently changing whims.

And I'm sick of it. Master Caveman came close to a serious fuck up today, whilst Ms Guest just pissed me every 30 minutes for something to do.

We have just spent two lovely nights in Thames eating ourselves into The Guinness Book of Gluttony with the loveliest people we know, but a combination of extreme fatigue and a road accident delay on the way home, followed by unloading the car by myself sent me off for a snooze, abruptly ended the third time by kids arguing over who was cooking what, a door slamming tanty from Ads and a couple of home truths from me before I gave up and went for drive in a huff (sans cellie) where I ended up wandering around the family graves in the foggy gloaming and hugging the huge camellia tree for a while before setting to rights all the offerings left on graves in the rest of the cemetery that had been blown over by the weather.

Today held too many "whys" and "whats" and none seem to have answers.